I feel that I’ve been very unproductive this month. I don’t think that I’ve accomplished anything that I had hoped to accomplish by this point. Getting Rylie is a big part of that. She keeps me busy and doesn’t allow me to take my eye off of her for more than 2 seconds, which greatly cuts down on my getting-anything-accomplished time. It’s hard… I feel like I haven’t had time to be a wife, a sister, a friend. I hope I haven’t given up too much here. I hope I’ll be able to find my footing again soon. I don’t want to lose the rest of the year.
All of this has been weighing on me a lot lately. Also not getting to see Jarrod seems to get harder and harder every day. It’s starting to really get discouraging. I don’t like coming home to an empty house everyday, and Rylie hardly counts as company at this point. I used to try to take a day every week where I’d move around my sleeping schedule in order to have dinner with him, but now with Rylie that’s impossible. At least for the time being.
But we do have a trip planned for the beach this weekend and I think it’ll be really good for us. It’ll be just the 3 of us: our little family. I’m so excited about actually have a full 2 days with my husband. At this point I haven’t seen him since Sunday, except for when he comes in a kisses me goodnight or when I kiss him goodbye when I leave for work in the morning. I’m just hoping there will be some solution to this sometime soon. Perhaps something I just can’t see at the moment. I’m just so tired of missing him all the time. I want that cliché life where we have a cup of coffee together in the morning and I can have dinner on the table when he gets home and we take Rylie for a walk together through the neighborhood and then cuddle on the couch watching our favorite TV shows before going to bed.
I keep hoping and praying that the answer is right around the corner. I try to have faith that all things really do work out together for good and there’s a bigger plan out there that I may not be able to see, but I know will continue to lead me down the right path. It’s difficult on a day-to-day basis to see where things will eventually go, but I know there’s someone out there who’s looking out for me and won’t let me down.